By Jeff Davidson
Last Monday, Barack Obama’s personal cook was found dead in shallow waters, originally reported as close to the Obama home on Martha’s vineyard. Tafari Campbell was 45 years old and, contrary to earlier reports, knew how to swim. Police stated that they had received reports of a paddleborder in distress earlier on Sunday evening. His body was fished out of the waters by Edgartown divers. A Sad Event When any man, in his prime, married, gainfully employed, and looking forward to the rest of the summer and his life, dies suddenly, it is sad. Oddly, the death of Tafari Campbell was a bit similar to the death of Walter Schreib, head chef under Bill Clinton during his White House years, who stayed on for another few years under George W. Bush.Schreib, who died in 2015, was found in a mountain water runoff, behind a steep, rocky decline, strewn with dense vegetation. Death by drowning sometimes can be hard to diagnose. For any reason, if someone breathing collapses, face down in the water, they could die in a matter of minutes. If they were held down, and there was no sign of struggle, it might not be so clear as to what had happened. A Mystery IndeedAs more facts surrounding the case become apparent, discerning news consumers are confused. For example, Campbell was not paddleboarding alone. He was with a companion, but the police have not released the name. There was a 911 call at 7:46 pm, yet the “reason for the call” was mysteriously left blank. Other calls to the Edgartown Police that evening, from other parties in other parts of town, all included a filled in “reason for the call.” The caller had reported how Campbell fell off the board and struggled to resurface. Officials report that the person paddleboarding with Campbell made a strenuous attempt to save him, swimming out his direction, but not reaching him in time.A woman on a boat also allegedly witnessed the tragedy, and made a call to 911 at 8:18 pm — curiously, 32 minutes later. Her identity, at the moment, is either unknown or simply unreported by police. Her call was from Wilson’s Landing, an area nearly two miles from the Obama residence. This contradicts the observation that Campbell had drowned near the Obama residence.This puzzling chain of occurrences undoubtedly will be sorted out soon, or will it ever? After all, we’re dealing with the death of an employee of a Democrat president. Despite the notable number of deaths associated with a previous Democrat president and a previous DNC nominee for president we should not speculate here. We should not ponder what happened to Tafari Campbell, and assume who he was with, out on the sea. Further, we must not conclude that Campbell overheard something sensitive at the Obama dinner table. Finally, we should disregard Obama’s appearance a few days later, on the golf course, replete with a black eye and bandages on his hands.Cook for HireTo assist the Obamas in quickly finding another talented and loyal cook, here is a want ad, to save them some time and effort: Wanted: Executive Chef for Martha’s Vineyard MansionAn extremely high-level, former U.S. official is seeking an executive chef to handle family meals; social, civic, charitable, and political gatherings; and other special occasions. Particular skills and requirements, above and beyond that of an executive chef are vital, including:1) Being discreet about what one overhears; to be a bit hard of hearing is a bonus.2) Having an affinity for water sports of all types includings those that take you deep out to sea.3) Maintaining a progressive/socialist/Marxist viewpoint on all matters large and small.4) Possessing impeccable Democrat references, including chef experience at large facilities. 5) Agreeing to be fingerprinted by the FBI and to take their lie detector test.6) Being a U.S. citizen (optional).7) Having no outstanding warrants, liens, or skeletons in the closet to haunt you or us. 8) Signing a non-disclosure agreement, stating that you will not write a book, not sell your story to the Enquirer, not be featured on Jerry Springer type shows, and not make the rounds among top podcast shows. Pledging never to discuss anything at anytime that transpires within the home on the grounds. 9) Affirming that you will not appear publically 5, 10, 15, or 20 years later claiming that you were abused, mistreated, short-changed, or otherwise dealt with inappropriately by the employer. 10) Starting immediately.If you can meet these stringent criteria send your application and resume to OChefGig@FBI.com If you are selected, we will notify you.
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Jeff Davidson is “The Work-Life Balance Expert®” and the premier thought leader on work-life balance, integration, and harmony. Jeff speaks to organizations that seek to enhance their overall productivity by improving the effectiveness of their people. He is the author of Breathing Space, Simpler Living, Dial it Down, and Everyday Project Management.
